Dangerous hipster shrinking craze spreads
Wed Oct 02, 2024 7:33 am
Teenagers in Armernica have been warned of the dangers of a new 'shrinking' craze that has been spreading across the Mid-West.
Hipster children as young as 13 have been found taking combinations of Imaginary designer drugs Peppincolocide and Laburnium, which can result in irreversible reductions in stature. Bobby Ratsenburger, 15, has been using the drugs for 4 years, and is now just 2ft 6 : "Its just a bit of a laugh, innit, bro. We's, like, funning it up with the high-pitched voices n shizzle" or some such.
But there is a darker side, with medical services having reported over 100 serious cases, including numerous injuries caused by 'normal' sized people accidentally stepping on the tiny hipster users. There have also been 4 reported fatalities, one being caused when an active 'PeppiLaber' fell down a crack in the pavement. (Or 'Sidewalk' as it is known in Armernica).
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Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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