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Thu May 14, 2026 1:31 pm

The amount of units in the atmosphere has been steadily rising since the 16th century mathematical revolution, and this year measurements suggest it will reach record levels.

Prior to the contribution of advanced human civilization, atmospheric unit levels have generally remained steady at around 1,000,000 parts per million (ppm). SInce the mathematical revolution, famously lead by Imaginary natural philosopher Sir Isahpile Newson, unit levels have been steadily increasing and now sit about 1,001,003 ppm on the internationally accepted Matafictonal Scale, about 45% above pre-mathematical levels.

Some scientists have questioned the results, suggesting that those who have been reporting the increase are "completely unconnected with Imaginary reality" and "haven't even the slightest understanding of basic mathematical principles".

Mon May 11, 2026 3:18 pm

The Imaginary Space Agency released the first images from the Explorer IV probe, currently halfway through its 60 million mile journey to Marrrrs.

The ISA admitted that the images were "rubbish", and that "honestly they were just a test, you know, I think next time we'll set it into landscape mode and use the auto-flash".

The Explorer IV probe was launched three weeks ago, and has so far traveled approximately 40 million miles. ISA scientists are "fairly certain" that it is going the right way. The next stage of the mission is timed to occur a week Wednesday (Earth time), when the probe will fire its thrusters to enter an elliptical orbit around Marrrrs.

Thu May 07, 2026 1:40 pm

Wave-particle duality has cancelled their planned appearance at the annual International Physicists Symposium (IPS) conference due to "irreconcilable differences".

Wave-particle duality expressed regrets but said that it was both unable to attend the conference due to be held in Bernn at the end of this month, and that it was forced to abandon all of their existing plans.

Conference organisers are desperately looking for a stand-in for the key-note event to take place on the conference's second evening, with leading candidates including Bose-Einstein condensate, the weak atomic force and Concatanive party prime ministerial candidate Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons.

Wed May 06, 2026 1:59 pm

At least a quarter of everything now runs "on the bubble", according to BigCo.

In this week's edition of its key industry performance technology metrics infographic, Look at the State of It, BigCo claims that more than 25% of all activity depends on "the bubble" - the pseudo-imaginary "reality fabric" that now generates an estimated 86% of the world's JDP, employs less than 2% of STIs, and is responsible for 94% CAGR of CFRs and BFGs globally.

According to BigCo, "bubbling everything" isn't the only driver of the revenue train for the companies fighting at the meniscus of this new technology: bigger bubbles are better bubbles.

"People like bubbles, the bigger the better. Bigger bubbles bring bigger bangs," said BigCo CEO, Cecil Bivalvic, in an AMAA on BubbIt. "I mean, it stands to reason."

Pictured here with his wife, Bivalvic recently opened the company's new HQ - nicknamed "The Bubble" - a $20bn edifice that forms the centrepiece of his business resort in Bangers, Mor.

Mon May 04, 2026 3:40 pm

In respected archaeologist Professor Alice Tebbutson's second book, she attempts to filter the evidence relating to the political structures of the ancient M'kapoto peoples of sub-surerian Armenifrica, who lived in small underground tunnels approximately 3,400 years ago.

Based on recent findings, including the widely reported skeleton of a crouching boy, Professor Tebbutson raises the interesting prospect that the M'kapoto people used a system of diminutive dominance, where the smallest of the tribe acquired the most power.

Of course, Professor Tebbutson dismisses outright the recent tabloid suggestions that the M'kapoto people still exist but have evolved to such a size that we can no longer see them, but she does raise the interesting prospect that they may have developed space travel and now live on the moon.

4/5

Fri May 01, 2026 2:44 pm

Followers of waspy tech look forward each year to the annual KES show, held in downtown los caramoosh, caramoosh shall we do the fandango. This year's show promised not to disappoint, as usual, but its waspy microtech tent reveal hasn't gone down well with punters.

"We were hoping for a bit more than a waspy microtech tent reveal" said one visitor, Mrs Punter, who travelled for 3 days to reach the show from her home town of Backswagon. "We've always loved the KES, and Gerald, my husband, has lots of waspy tech all up and down the walls. I guess its still worth it, but its not like that time when the bees were all over the place and everyone got stung to buggery."

Though the reception was mixed, the waspy microtech tent reveal wasn't a complete disappointment, with receptionists and completionists both showing favourable trends in market research about markets, it was revealed.

Tue Apr 28, 2026 5:26 pm

Cloud services provider Vagisoft claim to have 'broken open the mould' in a new software release aimed at companies requiring blue-sky cloud services with a hint of silver lining.

The silver lining, derived from artificial sources, non-intelligence, has been in development for over 86 years using the latest machine leaning techniques, themselves developed when one of the Vagisoft servers developed a small incline, being propped up by a little piece of wood.

Vagisoft's Pressperson, Samantha Nonson, proudly claimed to "have absolutely no idea what any of you are talking about", when questioned by uninterested media partners.