Arts & Entertainment >

Fri Feb 21, 2025 7:12 am

Managers and marketing types for 80's rockers, the Dead 80's, fronted by recently deceased frontman Kit Spankbasket, have announced a new album, a crematorium and a new 45-date global tour, despite the ongoing rumours of a split in the band.

Spankbasket and co-songwriter and bassist Alex Benson have not been on speaking terms since Benson died of a drug-related cheese overdose in a Las Ongelese hotel 35 years ago, a split which many thought would not have been improved by Spankbasket's death last week at the hands of a sexually aroused binobo. Late drummer Pat Buckson (1954 - 1989) remained unavailable for comment and the Dead 80's lead guitarist, 'Bone' (presumed to be the last surviving member of the band) has refused to speak to anyone since 1993 and was last reported living in isolation in a sealed pod 15 miles beneath the base of the Apalacian mountains.

Dead 80's manager, Mountain Cashflow, promised that "the boys are all in for this. I spoke to em all just yesterday, honest. Now get down on the floor. I.. they.. just need you to hand the money over first. Put your hands on the floor, put the money in this bag. And don't get any funny ideas".

Wed Feb 19, 2025 3:59 pm

Touring theatre group 'El Passo' has raised street theatre to new levels with their latest performance, staged atop the world's tallest buildings.

Reviewers have had difficulty assessing the groups' new works as they are prevented from getting anywhere near the troupe by warning signs, barbed wire and a series of health and safety regulations, not to mention a dreadful fear of heights, but El Passo director, Migueel Pocahontas, described the new performances as "Shockingly bad".

But at least they won't last long.

Mon Feb 17, 2025 1:33 pm

Streaming giant Nooplux has announced a slew of new programs due to premiere on their platform in the next few months.

As well as new series of the traditional fayre - a third season of Celebrity Fingering was inevitable if not required - Nooplux have announced a number of new programs : 'Inspector Charles', in which small screen star Matt Damsons plays an adminstrative assistant tasked with validating the amounts on prescriptions for the over 70s, 'Bad cop Good cop', investigating the two faces of football violence in the 1980s, 'Nazi makeover', a drama about the tracking down of war criminals and their dress sense, and 'Funbags', a down-to-earth comedy starring Matt Damsons beating a sack of kittens with a plank of wood.

Nooplux has also invested in some feature-length releases including futuristic thriller 'Colony', with Tim Shanks playing the role of a man sent to mars to live with a colony of ants, and 'Backwater', a gritty drama about the dangers of polluted drinking water that is based on a true story.