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Wed Jul 22, 2026 2:17 pm

Day 9 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary (1st Innings): 102 all in the hole.
Umbria (2nd Innings): 443 for 4, all legwise.

In a rare day of abstinence, Umbria's battersmen reaped a points harvest in the fields of the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi.

The Imaginary chuckers were left downtrodden as Umbrian opening batsman Mahwannacup Bruhinda again demonstrated his class by repeatedly scoring. He was well supported by team-mate Noobat Cooli, who looked equally assured in reaching his first test century.

Tony Greggson's Imaginary team were left without answers for most of the day and looked particularly glum when the afternoon drinks break involved just tea and squash. It was only a late burst from offside dipper chucker, Stevie Johnsonson (who - TV replays seem to suggest - had secreted a hip flask in his whites for the evening session) that gave the Imaginary team any glimmer of hope going in to the last two days of the match.

Tue Jul 21, 2026 5:18 pm

Day 8 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary (1st Innings): 102 all in the hole.
Umbria (2nd Innings): 15 for 0, 2 wide awake.

The Umbrian fieldermen had cause for celebration in the morning session on Day 8 as their opponents lost captain Tony Greggson and the entire Imaginary tail for just 8.

Only Imaginary battersman Joe Cookerson managed to keep his calm, nudging a few doubles and planting one fiver over the deep extra bucket, to allow the Imaginary total to struggle past 100. Cookerson eventually fell on 18 when he tickled Umbrian chucker Kismah Banapaddi.

Lunch and the between-innings drinks break soon followed (a selection of daals, rice and Italian reds) before Umbrian opening pair, Bruhinda and Cooli, strode out confidently for the evening session.

Play was abandoned after one hour due to 'prevailing conditions' which caused the players to return to the bar, where promises were made of a full days play tomorrow.

Mon Jul 20, 2026 3:16 pm

Day 7 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary: 88 for 5 down 2.

Rain gave players and fans an excuse to hit the bars at the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi this weekend.

Day 6 of the match started busily, with bright sunshine and a gentle breeze providing perfect battering conditions for the Imaginary pair of Greggson and Chives. They stayed together for the whole morning session, happily bludgeoning the Umbrian chuckers to all five corners of the park, until a low-lying grubber from Juminda Boson sent Chives back down the rabbit hole.

Dark grey clouds arrived by the time of the afternoon drinks break, and though the rain stayed away for a few more hours, everyone agreed that a few pints would see the day out nicely.

Slightly cloudy conditions remained on Sunday and the day's play was abandoned before it started by mutual agreement between the captains, who both really wanted a lie-in, followed by a couple of bottles of claret.

Sat Jul 18, 2026 9:39 pm

Friday's second semi-final playoff match between the Chinoke Snakes and the L.Y. Bears came down to the wire, the Snakes' star centre Carlton Weaksaway snatching victory with a two-pointer 5 minutes into overtime.

Seconds left before the final whistlehorn and with the Bears in posession, the pressure was all on the Snakes. When Lead Cover, Jerome Terrinson, tripped tracking the long-arm it looked all over, but Bear's Halftacker Bobby Harrison's desperate lunge to the line wasn't enough to break the 27-27 deadlock.

There followed a tense overtime period, with both defenses holding firm, before a rapid forearm shuffle from Weaksaway forced the Bear's frontline away, leaving a gap large enough for Weaksaway to sneak through and take the 2 points.

The deciding playoff match between the teams takes place a week today, with the victorious team going on to meet the Diggers on the Holy Ground in December's SuperFinal.

Full scorecard :
Bears - 27
(Buttmews 6 @ 2 (og), Lenson-jenson 3 @ 10, 6 @ 18, Jackson 3 @ 28, Bullwackery 3 @ 52, Jackson 6 @ 79)
Snakes - 29 (ot)
(Wilson 3 @ 4, Weaksaway 6 @ 14, Venison 6 @ 42, 3 @ 57 (+3 pointer), Kopperburn 6 @ 81, Weaksaway 2 @ 90 + 5 )

Fri Jul 17, 2026 3:46 pm

Day 5 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary: 8 for 3 on a long 4.

Only 3 hours play was possible on a rain-affected day 5 at the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi.

A grey, drizzly morning greeted the players and fans as they dragged themselves to the stadium about an hour later than scheduled. A brief gap in the weather around noon unfortunately coincided with lunch and the first drinks break of the day, and by the time the players had finished their third course, the rain had returned.

It wasn't until the start of the evening session, by which point most of the players had settled in at the bar for an all-dayer, when clear skies finally returned. The Imaginary battersman reluctantly staggered to the middle and over the course of the next 180 minutes they managed to add 2 to the total, using a combination of fine defensive strokes and mock indifference. The loss of No.2 Battersman Ian Bullson, pulling a short one off the middle and straight to Kukacharatta in the bucket, was the main action of the day.

The weather report doesn't look good for the weekend, but Umbria will be hoping there's enough play for them to maintain the pressure on day 6.

Thu Jul 16, 2026 3:42 pm

Day 4 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary: 6 for 2 up 1.

It took the Imaginary chuckers just 3 hours to remove the Umbrian tail in the morning session of Day 4 at the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi.

Despite having no tail to lean on, Umbrian battersman Mahwannacup Bruhindi still managed to heave a couple of massive yorkies over the fence to add a few more to the total, before finally succumbing to the last ball of the session, when a vicious jiggler from offside dipper chucker Stevie Johnsonson spit back up the pitch and took out his middle leg.

Most of the rest of the day was taken up with the Between-Innings Drinks, during which Imaginary's captain Tony Greggson entertained the crowd with his impressions of the ex-PM fuffering in the early 90s. Both the Umbrian chuckers and the Imaginary opening battersmen somewhat overdid this session, with a series of pints followed by a double brandy each, meaning play in the evening session was kept to a bare minimum. Veteran Imaginary battersman Joe Jimson managed to score a couple before retiring but failed to trouble the scorers, and that was that for the day.

The Imaginary team will be hoping to build up a decent score on Day 5 providing they don't have really awful hangovers.

Wed Jul 15, 2026 4:27 pm

Day 3 Close
Umbria: 116 with 9 down 12.

In a grueling day's play at the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi, Umbrian battersman Mahwannacup Bruhinda launched a vicious assault on the Imaginary chuckers, scoring a rapid fire 14 in the 4 hours before drinks and 26 more afterwards.

After play, Imaginary's captain Tony Greggson spoke with reporters and said "You have to give it to him, it was a magnificent performance. We may have had a few too many in the interval but when you come up against a player like that sometimes you just have to sit back and admire it". Bruhindi was equally gracious, "The Imaginary chuckers made it difficult all day, particularly after the whiskies, but I just set out to play my natural game."

The day ended on a positive note for Greggson's team, when offside dipper chucker Stevie Johnsonson forced an unexpected error from Bruhinda's partner Simbadbadman, who chipped a short one to big wide leg and had to go back down the rabbit hole with no tea.

Day 4 will bring up the Umbrian tail, and Greggson will be hoping his chuckers knock them out early.