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Fri Oct 09, 2026 3:46 pm

Day 5 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary: 8 for 3 on a long 4.

Only 3 hours play was possible on a rain-affected day 5 at the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi.

A grey, drizzly morning greeted the players and fans as they dragged themselves to the stadium about an hour later than scheduled. A brief gap in the weather around noon unfortunately coincided with lunch and the first drinks break of the day, and by the time the players had finished their third course, the rain had returned.

It wasn't until the start of the evening session, by which point most of the players had settled in at the bar for an all-dayer, when clear skies finally returned. The Imaginary battersman reluctantly staggered to the middle and over the course of the next 180 minutes they managed to add 2 to the total, using a combination of fine defensive strokes and mock indifference. The loss of No.2 Battersman Ian Bullson, pulling a short one off the middle and straight to Kukacharatta in the bucket, was the main action of the day.

The weather report doesn't look good for the weekend, but Umbria will be hoping there's enough play for them to maintain the pressure on day 6.

Thu Oct 08, 2026 3:42 pm

Day 4 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary: 6 for 2 up 1.

It took the Imaginary chuckers just 3 hours to remove the Umbrian tail in the morning session of Day 4 at the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi.

Despite having no tail to lean on, Umbrian battersman Mahwannacup Bruhindi still managed to heave a couple of massive yorkies over the fence to add a few more to the total, before finally succumbing to the last ball of the session, when a vicious jiggler from offside dipper chucker Stevie Johnsonson spit back up the pitch and took out his middle leg.

Most of the rest of the day was taken up with the Between-Innings Drinks, during which Imaginary's captain Tony Greggson entertained the crowd with his impressions of the ex-PM fuffering in the early 90s. Both the Umbrian chuckers and the Imaginary opening battersmen somewhat overdid this session, with a series of pints followed by a double brandy each, meaning play in the evening session was kept to a bare minimum. Veteran Imaginary battersman Joe Jimson managed to score a couple before retiring but failed to trouble the scorers, and that was that for the day.

The Imaginary team will be hoping to build up a decent score on Day 5 providing they don't have really awful hangovers.

Wed Oct 07, 2026 4:27 pm

Day 3 Close
Umbria: 116 with 9 down 12.

In a grueling day's play at the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi, Umbrian battersman Mahwannacup Bruhinda launched a vicious assault on the Imaginary chuckers, scoring a rapid fire 14 in the 4 hours before drinks and 26 more afterwards.

After play, Imaginary's captain Tony Greggson spoke with reporters and said "You have to give it to him, it was a magnificent performance. We may have had a few too many in the interval but when you come up against a player like that sometimes you just have to sit back and admire it". Bruhindi was equally gracious, "The Imaginary chuckers made it difficult all day, particularly after the whiskies, but I just set out to play my natural game."

The day ended on a positive note for Greggson's team, when offside dipper chucker Stevie Johnsonson forced an unexpected error from Bruhinda's partner Simbadbadman, who chipped a short one to big wide leg and had to go back down the rabbit hole with no tea.

Day 4 will bring up the Umbrian tail, and Greggson will be hoping his chuckers knock them out early.

Tue Oct 06, 2026 3:14 pm

Day 2 Close
Umbria: 58 for 14 up 9.

It took Umbria just one and a half sessions on the second day to win the toss and take an early advantage over the Imaginary tourists.

With conditions both under and overhead looking fine and the pitch showing early signs of deterioration, it wasn't a difficult decision for Umbrian captain Majahid Ranmanakoolaban, and the Umbrian opening pair of Bruhinda and Cooli were soon on their way out to the middle.

The Imaginary team are missing star chucker 'Big' Timmy Anderson for this tour but that didn't seem to upset their rhythm, with offside dipper chucker Stevie Johnsonson soon breaking the pair and sending Cooli back to the rabbit hole. A drinks break followed (The Umbrian battersmen settling for a swift half each, while the Imaginary team went straight for the wine) and the pace slowed for the latter half of the afternoon.

A decisive shout from Bruhinda took the game to tea - and disturbed a few resting pigeons - both teams sharing the laurels and a lamb curry. The evening session progressed slowly but steadily, a couple for Imaginary's paceman Kimmerson and a few free hits for Simbadbadman of Umbria took the score up to 58, with 14 up 9 back in the hole.

So we'll be regrouping tomorrow for day 3 with the match delicately poised.

Mon Oct 05, 2026 7:34 am

The 2nd Test against Umbria got underway at the Costcuttle stadium yesterday, with both teams battling hard to take an early advantage, following on from the wash out of the 1st Test.

At the end of the first day's play, Umbria appeared to be in a strong position, looking almost certain to win the toss during tomorrow's morning session. Umbrian captain, Majahid Ranmanakoolaban, was pleased with his team's performance : "We've had a great day out on the field today.. I'm really proud of what the boys have been able to achieve. We'll be looking to keep the pressure on tomorrow, and with any luck the rain will stay away for the rest of the week".

But Imaginary captain, Tony Greggson, was still optimistic when interviewed at the end of play : "Obviously it's early days in this match and there's still a lot to play for. We've got a strong team and we're confident that we'll be able to come back at the Umbrians once play gets going tomorrow."

Fri Oct 02, 2026 3:21 pm

While most eyes in the sporting world will be on the big second semi-final playoff between the Bears and the Snakes taking place in the Salad Bowl on Friday, we mustn't forget that the 2nd Test versus Umbria starts this weekend.

After the wash-out of the 1st Test both teams will be looking forward to a competitive match, with conditions looking perfect at the Costcuttle Ground in Jillhadi. Umbrian captain Majahid Ranmanakoolaban said "We're hoping for a good match. The ground is looking well-prepared, the weather is set fine, we're all strapped in and ready to go".

The five match Test series is vitally important to both teams, who are both currently tied in 3rd and 4th in the world rankings. Victory for either side will give them a spare berth in the World Cup that starts in the summer.

Wed Sep 30, 2026 10:19 pm

In last night's first semi-final playoff match, the Bears managed to sneak a last-minute victory over the Snakes 24-19, with star centre Mickey Jackson scoring a six-pointer just 30 seconds from the final whistlehorn.

The second of the three playoff matches between the teams takes place a week Friday, with the victorious team going on to meet the Diggers on the Holy Ground in December's SuperFinal.

Full scorecard :
Bears - 24
(Jackson 6 @ 13, Lenson-jenson 3 @ 39, 3 @ 42, Buttmews 6 @ 49 (og), Jackson 6 @ 79)
Snakes - 19
(Wilson 3 @ 6, Piltdown 6 @ 22, 3 @ 24 (+1 extra point), Venison 6 @ 63 )