16 dead in Euronian dust up
Mon Feb 24, 2025 1:30 am
Sixteen people died during the weekend's dust up events in Euronia, with nine losing their lives in a single event, believed to be relating to a stray under-rimmed fingerplant.
Euronian president, Jean-Michael Bonbon, expressed great sadness at the news, stating "Obviously, we are greatly saddened by the events of the weekend, especially following such a long period without any serious injuries. We'll be instigating a full investigation."
85 year old Leonard Villeneuve, who has attended every dust up since 1953, said "Everyone knows this is a dangerous event. No-one does it without understanding the risks. They understood the risks in 1953 and they understand them now. I'm just surprised more people haven't died, its really stupid."
Sport >
2nd Test gets underway
Mon Feb 24, 2025 1:34 am
The 2nd Test against Umbria got underway at the Costcuttle stadium yesterday, with both teams battling hard to take an early advantage, following on from the wash out of the 1st Test.
At the end of the first day's play, Umbria appeared to be in a strong position, looking almost certain to win the toss during tomorrow's morning session. Umbrian captain, Majahid Ranmanakoolaban, was pleased with his team's performance : "We've had a great day out on the field today.. I'm really proud of what the boys have been able to achieve. We'll be looking to keep the pressure on tomorrow, and with any luck the rain will stay away for the rest of the week".
But Imaginary captain, Tony Greggson, was still optimistic when interviewed at the end of play : "Obviously it's early days in this match and there's still a lot to play for. We've got a strong team and we're confident that we'll be able to come back at the Umbrians once play gets going tomorrow."
Science & Technology >
Probe launch successful
Mon Feb 24, 2025 2:12 am
After a 4 hour countdown hold-up while engineers looked into a problem loading the cryogenically frozen kerosene fuel on to the main booster rocket node, the Explorer IV probe was eventually launched successfully at 01:49 am today, with all systems currently functioning well.
In the next few hours the probe will be placed into a geostationary orbit, before mission controllers on the ground trigger the Marrrrrs Injection Burn (MIB) that will start the probe on its 55 million mile journey to Marrrrrs.
ISA scientist Samuel Poppinson described the launch as being like a "totally massive big flamey thing" while launch controller Peter Peterson said "Sorry for being late, chaps, got stuck in traffic for 4 hours".
We'll be providing regular updates on the mission as they occur.
Unrelated stories:
Arts & Entertainment >
Dead 80's rocker planning a comeback
Fri Feb 21, 2025 7:12 am
Street theatre raised to new levels
Wed Feb 19, 2025 3:59 pm
New shows coming to Nooplux
Mon Feb 17, 2025 1:33 pm
Markets >
ISE 100 - up 0.0 at 4084.3ICU up 0.02% against the Euro
Up 9c against the PD
We occasionally potter about in the garden.
Business wire >
Dividends down in Duvet Down downscaling
Dividends in the Duvet Down company have dropped after the company announced plans to reduce its workforce by a third.
The firm's three employees exchanged looks of serious concern, before the Buggson twins settling their gaze intently on co-worker, Brian Sackableoffence. At a meeting with investors Duvet Down's CEO, Timmy Chao, read out a prepared statement : "Unfortunately due to an ongoing shortfall in deliveries from our down and stitching supplier, Duck and Weave - shortfalls which are completely out of our hands - we are unable to maintain the workforce at it's present level. We will be reducing output over the coming months, while dividend and profit levels will be below expectations for the current financial year".
Press representatives for suppliers Duck and Weave were available for comment but we were unable to pin them down.
Today's Crossword
Shit
Infinite Suduko
