Politics >

Sat Oct 31, 2026 2:21 pm

Imaginary politicians frequently tread a thin line, on one hand wanting to avoid parody, on the other not wanting to appear completely irrelevant, and on the other being sufficiently good at maths and physiology. Today though the high court ruled that the recent visit of controversial Armernican fraudster Dr Farts had crossed that line and Dr Farts was not to be mentioned again.

Dr Farts has become famous in Armernica for doing things that people either quite like or are quite annoyed by, depending on their views of whatever it is he is going on about. It may seem a difficult concept to grasp for Imaginary citizens used to the more sedate political cycle of carefully crafted resignations, installations and sufficient time at the Test, but Armernicans apparently take it all very seriously. (Or don't, because they're all stoopid. Either way).

In accordance with the high court ruling, this journal will in the future only refer to Dr Farts as Mr Poopypants.

Thu Oct 29, 2026 1:32 pm

The multi-nationalist and hedonistic Party party has started a parliamentary party to celebrate their first 5 years of Party partying.

The party, which is expected to last 5 years, was officially started by the Party party representative for North Partyton, Dilly Partyon, who has been giving it large since the 1980s and refuses to be beaten down by the heavy stick.

Party party spokesperson Panty Partypantson said "The Party party has proudly represented party parties for the last 5 years and we hope to continue the party Party for long to come. Sorry, i meant the Party party. Can we cut that bit out in the edit?".

Mon Oct 26, 2026 3:13 pm

Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons repeatedly refused to acknowledge the presence of Mrs Commerson on the grounds that "she is a damn woman".

Once it became clear that Double-Jameson's position was unlikely to change, Mrs Commerson tried to focus the debate on the candidate's policy differences, while Sir Double-Jamesons entertained the audience with tales of a 1970s hunting trip to Anicafria where he "bagged a rhinoceros and a couple of naughty little minxes from the nearby village".

Sir Double-Jamesons had to leave the debate early when he ran out of whiskey, allowing Mrs Commerson time to answer audience questions on her policy positions, including questions on housing policy, the upcoming Fisheries Act and the ties between the Imaginary Ministry of Defense and the weapons industry.

Fri Oct 23, 2026 2:02 pm

After months of campaigning and hours of debate, Parliament today finally passed legislation to repeal the 1976 Confused Regional Accents Bill, which made mockery of confused regional (and rural) accents a criminal offence.

Free speech campaigners welcomed the news stating that "The 1976 bill was a stain on the whole notion of freedom of expression and we welcome its removal". Opposition MP, Bill Macmacson, who voted with the government to repeal the bill said "Oots not that we want poople to actively boogin mocking our confoosed rooginal oocents, but we recognise that perhoops the legislation had goon a bae tae foor in the past, tae ba sur."

Mockery of confused regional accents is still illegal until the 1st of January next year when the bill comes in to force.

Wed Oct 21, 2026 2:00 pm

Both Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons and rival Margaret Commerson hit the campaign trail today, before heading outside and meeting voters.

The curious parliamentary ritual first began in 1854 when elder statesman Pat the Younger competed for the newly created post of Lord of the Chancellery with his younger brother Pat the Elder, and all Prime Ministerial candidates have mimicked the process since.

Once out with the voters, both candidates discussed political things with constituents and members of their regional parties, with Sir Double-Jamesons - in disguise - repeating allegations of the non-existence of his opponent. Mrs Commerson, meanwhile, was discussing the plight of ex-pat communities on the South Palantic Islands who face an excessive income tax burden due to recent changes in international tax law.

Regional party member, Clive Gibbonson, who questioned both candidates, was undecided : "Both have strong points. Mrs Commerson has a good grasp of the issues, whereas Sir Double-Jamesons gave me a free bottle of whiskey, so I'm currently unsure how I will vote".

The new Prime Minister will be decided in a silent vote of regional Concatanive party members next week.

Mon Oct 19, 2026 3:40 pm

Jemma Hortiponsonburyson, who has been studying bees for 26 years, has called for government action in response to declining levels of wax purity.

Bees have been increasingly using artificial substitutes in the formation of their wax, ranging from little bits of leaf right up to non-biodegradable plastics. Ms Hortiponsonburyson says "It is time we draw the line. I've had quite enough of these little blighters, polluting the world with their so-called products. We must wipe them out as soon as possible using a combination of neo-nicotinoids and environmental destruction".

A spokesbee, Buzz Busby, refused to speak to our Imaginary reporter.

Wed Oct 14, 2026 1:47 pm

The first televised debate between the two Prime Ministerial candidates resulted in a ruckus when Sir Double-Jamesons accused opponent Margaret Commerson of "not actually being there".

Sir Double-Jamesons has repeatedly refused to acknowledge that female politicians exist, quoting extensively from 19th century historian David Mullarkson's "Why Ladies Cannot Function Correctly When Asked to Provide Rational Arguments for Serious Subjects", and perpetuating the argument that having a female Prime Minister would be impossible as there would be a great disaster every February when they "have their time of the year".

Double-Jamesons also attacked Mrs. Commerson's ability 'to hold her drink', suggesting that it would be dangerous to elect a Prime Minister who was incapable of getting at least 5 times over the limit before vomiting. Mrs Commerson, meanwhile, tried to emphasise the benefits of her economic plan for the country, which includes increasing export duties on North Atlantic Cod.