Politics >

Wed May 20, 2026 1:18 pm

Concatanive MP Jasper Hugenson was found guilty in the High Court today and sentenced to 6 years in jail on preventative grounds.

Judge Hairson, of the Bar, for most of the day unless theres an important meeting to go to, delivered the sentence standing on an old iron washtub using a loudhailer, declaring that Hugenson "was almost certainly up to no good at some point in the future so it was only sensible to prosecute now and save a whole load of bother". "I thank you", he added cheerily, while dismounting.

Although Hairson's views have proven controversial in the past, particularly the life-sentence he gave to a group of 4-year old boys for not pronouncing their 'T-H's' properly, in this circumstance there was a general agreement that justice had been pre-emptively served and there was definitely no potential for abuse in the whole affair, as everyone was over the age limit and fine about it.

Tue May 19, 2026 1:42 pm

Margaret Commerson, Member for North Bunswold, will be sworn in as the 668th Imaginary Prime Minister in a ceremony at the House of Cords later today.

Mrs. Commerson was declared the winner in a national vote of party members, with Commerson taking 68% compared to opponent Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons' 24%. A further 8% of the votes were 'spoilt' including the one submitted by Double-Jamesons himself.

Speaking at party headquarters, Mrs Commerson thanked "all those who have worked so hard for this victory. I will endeavour to serve everyone in this fine Imaginary country to the best of my ability" before rubbing her hands together and cackling maniacally. Defeated opponent Sir Double-Jamesons was too drunk to speak.

House of Cords CEO, Timmy Mansperson said "We're flattered to be hosting such an event. Its not often that a minor retail store in North Bunswold gets much attention so its great to be in the news. 50% off on all cords this weekend!".

Sat May 16, 2026 2:21 pm

Imaginary politicians frequently tread a thin line, on one hand wanting to avoid parody, on the other not wanting to appear completely irrelevant, and on the other being sufficiently good at maths and physiology. Today though the high court ruled that the recent visit of controversial Armernican fraudster Dr Farts had crossed that line and Dr Farts was not to be mentioned again.

Dr Farts has become famous in Armernica for doing things that people either quite like or are quite annoyed by, depending on their views of whatever it is he is going on about. It may seem a difficult concept to grasp for Imaginary citizens used to the more sedate political cycle of carefully crafted resignations, installations and sufficient time at the Test, but Armernicans apparently take it all very seriously. (Or don't, because they're all stoopid. Either way).

In accordance with the high court ruling, this journal will in the future only refer to Dr Farts as Mr Poopypants.

Thu May 14, 2026 1:32 pm

The multi-nationalist and hedonistic Party party has started a parliamentary party to celebrate their first 5 years of Party partying.

The party, which is expected to last 5 years, was officially started by the Party party representative for North Partyton, Dilly Partyon, who has been giving it large since the 1980s and refuses to be beaten down by the heavy stick.

Party party spokesperson Panty Partypantson said "The Party party has proudly represented party parties for the last 5 years and we hope to continue the party Party for long to come. Sorry, i meant the Party party. Can we cut that bit out in the edit?".

Mon May 11, 2026 3:13 pm

Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons repeatedly refused to acknowledge the presence of Mrs Commerson on the grounds that "she is a damn woman".

Once it became clear that Double-Jameson's position was unlikely to change, Mrs Commerson tried to focus the debate on the candidate's policy differences, while Sir Double-Jamesons entertained the audience with tales of a 1970s hunting trip to Anicafria where he "bagged a rhinoceros and a couple of naughty little minxes from the nearby village".

Sir Double-Jamesons had to leave the debate early when he ran out of whiskey, allowing Mrs Commerson time to answer audience questions on her policy positions, including questions on housing policy, the upcoming Fisheries Act and the ties between the Imaginary Ministry of Defense and the weapons industry.

Fri May 08, 2026 2:02 pm

After months of campaigning and hours of debate, Parliament today finally passed legislation to repeal the 1976 Confused Regional Accents Bill, which made mockery of confused regional (and rural) accents a criminal offence.

Free speech campaigners welcomed the news stating that "The 1976 bill was a stain on the whole notion of freedom of expression and we welcome its removal". Opposition MP, Bill Macmacson, who voted with the government to repeal the bill said "Oots not that we want poople to actively boogin mocking our confoosed rooginal oocents, but we recognise that perhoops the legislation had goon a bae tae foor in the past, tae ba sur."

Mockery of confused regional accents is still illegal until the 1st of January next year when the bill comes in to force.

Wed May 06, 2026 2:00 pm

Both Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons and rival Margaret Commerson hit the campaign trail today, before heading outside and meeting voters.

The curious parliamentary ritual first began in 1854 when elder statesman Pat the Younger competed for the newly created post of Lord of the Chancellery with his younger brother Pat the Elder, and all Prime Ministerial candidates have mimicked the process since.

Once out with the voters, both candidates discussed political things with constituents and members of their regional parties, with Sir Double-Jamesons - in disguise - repeating allegations of the non-existence of his opponent. Mrs Commerson, meanwhile, was discussing the plight of ex-pat communities on the South Palantic Islands who face an excessive income tax burden due to recent changes in international tax law.

Regional party member, Clive Gibbonson, who questioned both candidates, was undecided : "Both have strong points. Mrs Commerson has a good grasp of the issues, whereas Sir Double-Jamesons gave me a free bottle of whiskey, so I'm currently unsure how I will vote".

The new Prime Minister will be decided in a silent vote of regional Concatanive party members next week.