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Breaking News: PM resigns

ImageAt a press conference held this morning in the government's best office, the Imaginary Prime Minister has shocked the world by announcing her immediate resignation.

The surprise announcement comes in the wake of newspaper allegations that the PM was involved in controversial round-handing deals in the early 1990s.

A government spokesperson said that the standard processes for transition of power will now come into force and they are not expecting any hiccups. Speaking to our reporter off the record, the ruling Concatanive party chairman, Sir Withersby Bolton-Limeson, admitted that the move "came as a bit of a shock to the old girl, but she took it gracefully enough. I think she's happy just to get some time off to watch the SuperFinal, and no doubt will be banging about doing dodgy stuff with judges at the Holy Ground by morning".

A meeting of the government's 1812 back-bench committee will take place in the new year and it is expected a new prime minister will be in place by the end of January.

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Today's Crossword

Bollocks


Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

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