Rasputin lookalike linked to death of pre-Elvis

Mon Mar 09, 2026 1:46 pm

Startling documents released from the Armernican National Archives this week detail how the government's security forces forged a clear link between Polska Mininimshikov, a man famed for his Rasuputin-like appearance, with the previously unexplained death of Kimchi Sagaloo, one of the world's earliest pre-Elvis Elvis impersonators.

Kimchi was touring midwest Armernican with his notorious blend of large collared oversized white suits, dazzling jewellery and incoherent crooning 6 years before the real Elvis was born. It was on a stopover at all-night bar and disco, "Jimmy Fan's", that Kimchi met his fate - his remains being found by local law enforcement agencies at 6am, 8:30am and 11:15am the following morning.

The connection between Polska and Kimchi's death had already been suggested in journalist Michael Goombander's 1985 book, "Death of a Prelvis", but this is the first time that the government's awareness of the link has been made public. A spokesman said "Uhh uhh.. suede shoes.. uhhh.. thankyooverrymuch.. mama."

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