Channel 362 reveals new line-up
Mon Jun 15, 2026 2:02 pm
Hidden down in the unsearchable sections of your TV guide lies Channel 362, the local Imaginary channel that usually broadcasts absolute filth 24 hours a day but this year is planning a major revamp of its schedule.
Head Channel Controller, Billy Head, in charge of the remote control, says "This is the dawn of a new dawn for the channel. We're unshackling the shackles of our past and throwing caution to the dogs with a massive investment in programme making ; with new stars, new formats, new news, old news, rhythm and blues and Hill Street Blues."
First up on launch day is new reality series "Stumped!", a show in which ex-cricketeers are tasked with making their way home from a desert island after sawing off their own legs, followed by new current affairs show "How much do I need to pay you to ignore what just happened?" - this week featuring Piddlington Mayor, Arthur Ranson, 3 ladies of questionable virtue and a suitcase full of tenners. The new weekend schedule starts with the moronic quiz show "Counting" (Host Angus Arson still hoping the catchphrase "1.. 2.. 3.." .. ".. 4.. .. 5 .. .. 6" .. " .. " .. ".. 7", will eventually catch on), goes highbrow for a while with Victorian-era melodrama "The Dorset Corset" before settling back to tried and trusted territory with late night talk show "Dark Place with Jimmy Sasson" this week featuring guests Tony Greggson, ex prime-ministerial candidate Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons and a dog in the shape of a lemon.
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