Famous scienceman finds 5G spot

Mon Nov 18, 2024 7:45 am

Famous scienceman Byron Clocks has revealed the results of the follow-up to his often peered-at ping-pong Grrravity experiment.

This long-awaited 5G test also required the enthusiastic help of his able assistant, Brenda, said Clocks, who adds an 's' to his surname every time he manages to finish some work.

"As we stare up at the night sky, we can only wonder at the enormity of the universe," Clocks said. "It's quite hard to get your head around it, believe me. So I thought I'd look into whether that whole Grrravity thing was related in any way to this modern trend of cableless telephonic communicatory devices. Brenda always got quite excited when I talked about more than 4Gs, so I thought we should go for five."

Clocks' team wanted to test the theory that they would get the best reception from Brenda if their peripherals were put in just the right spot to achieve optimal G. The results were conclusive: 5 or more Gs can be obtained.

"With Brenda we tested our peripherals in many different positions and with different levels of oscillation," said Clocks. "There is no doubt in my mind that the 5G spot has been found, and it's just a little bit up and to the left of where you'd expect. Sadly, Brenda died of exhaustion, but I think it's how she would have wanted to go."

According to the usual scienceman convention, Clocks' results will need to be peered at for some time before kids get to learn about them at school.

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