Soldier gets Ballsey Cross
Mon May 18, 2026 12:58 pm
An Imaginary soldier received the Ballsey Cross for bravery during a special ceremony at Waresior Palace this week.
The soldier, who cannot be named for security reasons, was referred to only as 'Sergeant Two'.
When 'Sergeant One' was badly injured by enemy fire, the Ballsey winner led troops on a daring mission to rescue 235 innocent civilians imprisoned by a Foreign Power, which also cannot be named.
The military veteran, who is due to retire next week, shouted at our reporter that he plans to publish an account of the action.
His book,Two's Company Frees a Crowd, should be in shops in time for Eczemas.
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Today's Crossword
Tits
Recipe Corner
Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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