Crustians celebrate pushover
Mon Jul 06, 2026 2:26 pm
Today, all over the imaginary world, but mostly in the silly parts up north, Crustians gathered in their traditional block hovels to celebrate the ancient ceremony of pushover. This marks the day when the Crustian relic first appeared to believers pushing a shopping-trolley uphill and singing giddily.
Tradition dictates that Crustians wear salmonskin coats, head to foot, all day long - and many still adhere to the ancient traditions, despite the smell. The modern use of artificial salmonskin by some Beligerant Crustians, though controversial, has yet to inflame the full set of tensions, concerns of which were raised at the most recent Crustian Symphagoog.
Thankfully Crustian leaders have agreed to suspend other more controversial traditions including the burning and stripping of the Great Penile Member and the Choking of the Sacrificial Coat, following repeated complaints in previous years. Rev Lucifer Evilson, Head of the Crustian Symposium, was happy to take questions from the press-gang in exchange for some private time with their children but we declined.
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