Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

T&N merger options collapse

ImageMerger talks between multi-national T&N collapsed today, requiring a massive 160% floater to be retracted up the shoot.

Despite promising initial signs, people familiar with the negotiations indicated that the merging tank flotation is no longer progressing after interventions from corporate lawyers P.J. Sleepwear related to recently updated FANDAQ rulings.

The news will come as another major disappointment for T CEO, Bruce Vigginson, with his company now abandoning 3 merge flotations in the past 5 months, first with O Llp, then with Cuppa plc, and now with N.

Both T&N shares slumped rapidly after the announcement, before moderately rebounding.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Image
Sport > Ballinhole Open Round 2
Image
Business > Flower market budding, daisy chains linked
Image
Business > FUNDAQ comes a cropper

Latest Imaginary News

Business > Kettle of Fish "not pretty" says Skipper of Boat
World > South Marmurnian Leaders Conference begins
World > Stupid country invades itself
Sci & Tech > Inverse telescope views own destruction ahead of launch
Arts & Ent > Bruce Monsoon dies aged 96

Today's Crossword

Bollocks


Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).