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ITSY dippy on shorts forecast

ImageThe ITSY dipped below its 5 year low today after the monthly shorts forecast suggested a loosening of the long-trouser belt-tightening that has been restraining price increases since christmas.

Market watcher, Lorraine Popsworthson, said "The ITSY has always been notoriously dippy, and is often volatile when the shorts are off, but this does appear to be a trend. We're advising all our brokers, tokers and back-street jokers to keep an eye on next month's BITSY trade forecast and withdraw early if necessary to avoid infection."

ITSY shorts closed down 5, with two massive swingers.

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