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BREAKING: Unknown virus strikes Imaginary reporters

ImageIn a worrying development for INN, Imaginary journalists are being afflicted by a virus of unknown origin.

Details are scarce, except it appears that the new disease causes reporters to publish stories that are little more than random streams of consciousness bearing little if any relation to reality.

"The thing about this virus, it's bloody massive," said Rebecca Ssee, Head of Imagivirology at Saint Organstines. "We've had our suspicions for some time, and spent all these years looking into petriscopes and microdishes and that, and it was all a total waste of time because this thing is literally the size of the bloody universe. Apart from that we don't know anything about it at all. I need another drink."

We remain vigilant and we will keep you updated as this story develops.

Have you been affected by an unknown virus, or do you know an Imaginary journalist that has? Great.

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Today's Crossword

Bollocks


Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

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