Solar Observation Satellite readies for launch
Fri Jun 12, 2026 1:25 pm
Imaginary scientists are completing final preparations in advance of the launch of the new Imaginary Solar Observation Platform (ISOP),the unique $6bn satellite that aims to stare at the sun for too long.
The launch on Tuesday (maybe Monday, if it doesn't take quite as long as they expect to get all the bits connected) ends a tumultuous genesis for the project, which was almost cancelled probably 15 or 16 times.
As Lead Project Scientist Arthur Leadscientistson explains, "When we first proposed the project to stare at the sun for too long, everyone said 'No! You shouldn't stare at the sun for too long'. But we persisted, we kept trying, we persevered, we carried on, we kept on going, we never gave up, we ploughed on, we stuck to our guns and we stood firm. I admit there's a fair chance they were right - certainly most of our hardware tests so far have backed up the theory that you shouldn't stare at the sun for too long - but its only through such dogged, intractable determination that expensive and inevitably fruitless projects like this can ever see the light of day."
Readers should take care never to stare at the sun for too long, and if they do, keep a bucket of water handy and use a card with some holes in it.
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