Inventor of telescope killed by close-to thing

Tue Jun 09, 2026 2:08 pm

Investigations into a new hoard of historical documents have revealed the truth behind the death of world famous scientist and inventor, Lord Alfred Tennesse-Williams, and blown apart the established story of death by self-flagellation.

Teams from the Central Squad for Historical Investigations conducted extensive research, and referenced numerous documents produced at the time of Tennesse-Williams' death, and proved conclusively that the renowned scientist actually fell down an unseen hole.

Documents reveal that the unfortunate accident was covered up to avoid widespread panic and fear of looking at things far away - something the government of the day was actively encouraging.

"Cabinet records show that Chief of the Treasury, Sir Malcom Bradburyson, was desperate to avoid an epidemic of people only looking at things that were close to them, and believed that Tenessee-Williams' death could have upset the delicate balance between near and far sight that existed in the country at the time", revealed Lead Investigator, Bruce Warmtuskinson.

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