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Lard and Tithe Punting Fund Closure

ImageVeteran brokerage firm Lard and Tithe have closed their punting fund in a move that reflects market trends to wipe down brokerings with interest lack rates at record levels.

The move came as no surprise to most on the floor, after Lard's Chief Executive's weekend statement to investors highlighted the likelihood of future uptown girls, with the red dress on, and a double whiskey with no ice.

Analysts at corporate broker partners Iggleston & Son considered today's announcement to be "the icing on the cake of the crematorium sweeping's end of the line bake off" ; everyone here was happy enough with that and went off down to the pub to celebrate.

All the points were up 3 after the announcement bar the westerlies which were all over the place, sometimes left, sometimes right, and jiggling about like ants in a microwave.

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