Lard and Tithe Punting Fund Closure
Thu Nov 07, 2024 7:59 am
Veteran brokerage firm Lard and Tithe have closed their punting fund in a move that reflects market trends to wipe down brokerings with interest lack rates at record levels.
The move came as no surprise to most on the floor, after Lard's Chief Executive's weekend statement to investors highlighted the likelihood of future uptown girls, with the red dress on, and a double whiskey with no ice.
Analysts at corporate broker partners Iggleston & Son considered today's announcement to be "the icing on the cake of the crematorium sweeping's end of the line bake off" ; everyone here was happy enough with that and went off down to the pub to celebrate.
All the points were up 3 after the announcement bar the westerlies which were all over the place, sometimes left, sometimes right, and jiggling about like ants in a microwave.
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Today's Crossword
Bollocks
Recipe Corner
Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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