Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

Dunslap shares plummet

ImageThe markets absorbed the news from Dunslap HQ with vigour, initially rising 6 before dropping off the cliff and ending up squashed on the beach along 85 points.

As trading opened this morning it initially looked like Dunslap might hold on, clinging by fingernails to an overhanging ledge while dramatic music played. But the market 'good guy' (of questionable virtue) approached the edge, made some trite comment and kicked Dunslap's share fingers away, casting them down like a medieval king subjugating a dirty peasant from atop his majestic steed.

Analysts at Miggins were unable to comment having had way too many glasses at lunch.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Image
Arts & Ent > New cinema releases

Latest Imaginary News

Business > Lard and Tithe Punting Fund Closure
Politics > Pole rises impressively despite election bungle
Sport > The Narcolympics comes to Armenifrica
Business > Chopajonian cuisine outpaces rivals, says Survey
World > Refuse Collection blocked by syntactic error

Today's Crossword

Shit


Infinite Suduko


Join the craze thats sweeping the nation : Draw a series of grids of 3x3 squares stretching to infinity and fill them with the numbers 1 to 9, making sure that each number is used only once in each grid and that all rows and columns add up to infinity.

Send your completed grids to 3, The Washtubs, London for your chance to win a couple of quid


INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).