Share tips : Performance Guaranteed
Fri Apr 10, 2026 7:20 pm
Analysts at Hengku-BS have revealed their annual list of share tips, picking out companies whose share price is expected to soar in the coming season.
First up is Dunslap, deemed 'thoroughly reliable' and "likely to go rimming around the bull-hole for the forseeable". Also strongly recommended are Muchswap Bigger Wang, who's car park movements show good intentions, and Harbinger of Doom who are predicted to release very optimistic profit forecasts later in the season.
HK-BS also claim to have produced a list of shares to avoid this season but refused to let anyone see it, with everyone else agreeing that they'd produced no such thing and were just lying about it to cover up the fact they hadn't done any work all week.
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Recipe Corner
Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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