Share tips : Performance Guaranteed
Fri Apr 10, 2026 7:20 pm
Analysts at Hengku-BS have revealed their annual list of share tips, picking out companies whose share price is expected to soar in the coming season.
First up is Dunslap, deemed 'thoroughly reliable' and "likely to go rimming around the bull-hole for the forseeable". Also strongly recommended are Muchswap Bigger Wang, who's car park movements show good intentions, and Harbinger of Doom who are predicted to release very optimistic profit forecasts later in the season.
HK-BS also claim to have produced a list of shares to avoid this season but refused to let anyone see it, with everyone else agreeing that they'd produced no such thing and were just lying about it to cover up the fact they hadn't done any work all week.
Share this story: Share this story on X/Twitter
Unrelated stories:
Latest Imaginary News
World > Historic village unfurls large banner
Thu Apr 16, 2026 5:50 pm
Politics > Protests over planned opening closure
Thu Apr 16, 2026 2:13 pm
Sport > Bears defeat Snakes in close match
Wed Apr 15, 2026 10:19 pm
Sci & Tech > Probe to be launched this weekend
Wed Apr 15, 2026 10:11 pm
Politics > PM disputes opposition 'bootie' claims
Wed Apr 15, 2026 10:03 pm
Today's Crossword
[phpBB Debug] PHP Notice: in file /home/theunive/public_html/imaginarynewsnetwork.com/crossword.php on line 8: Undefined offset: -1
Get the Imaginary App
Stay up to date with all the latest imaginary news by imagining the INN app, which would have a load of awe-inspiring features to make your life easier, more pleasurable and more complete, all at your fingertips, for every hour of every day for the rest of your goddam life!
INN Advertising
We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).