Stupid country invades itself
Wed Sep 23, 2026 2:45 pm
Reports of an escalating conflict between Shusshia and Ohshusshia have been validated, causing consternation in global political circles who have no policy to deal with national self-flagellation.
The Shusshia / Ohshusshia relationship has puzzled Imaginary politicians since it was revealed in a postcard sent to our offices just over two weeks ago.
According to our overseas correspondent, Jonny Foreigner, relations with the highly secretive Shusshian Conglomerate have been largely non-existent, as the country has remained isolated, with travel disallowed and international communications banned.
The postcard, therefore, was quite a surprise: it announced that the country had started a war amongst itself and had declared self-independence, forming the Oshusshian Defectorate enclave - which was now officially at War with Shusshia, Oshusshia and anything that resembled it.
A UN council meeting was rapidly convened in which all 173 participating members agreed to vote against themselves in order to abstain from a peaceful resolution.
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