Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

Oil prices shaky, squeaky door?

ImageOil prices had a turbulent ride yesterday, starting the day up 4% on rumours of so-called "squeaky doors" in the Balarian palace, before suffering a massive presumptious drop when sources cast doubts on the story.

By the end of the day, with both supply and demand having looked happy enough with their lunch, prices had returned to the levels they started at, and everyone went home satisfied with another day wasted.

Analysts at traders Loods, who have been in the oil business since the 13th century, suggested that "There's always a bit of turbulence when squeaky door rumours first appear, but most of the big beasts in this field are happy to ride the bull out up to the barn on this one". Oil closed at 6:30, 5:30 on the weekend.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Image
Sport > 2nd Test starts Sunday
Image
Sport > 3rd test, Day 9

Latest Imaginary News

Business > Kettle of Fish "not pretty" says Skipper of Boat
World > South Marmurnian Leaders Conference begins
World > Stupid country invades itself
Sci & Tech > Inverse telescope views own destruction ahead of launch
Arts & Ent > Bruce Monsoon dies aged 96

Today's Crossword

Bollocks


Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).