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Price of dorrar drops unexpectedly

Image'Market turmoil' can be an overused term in modern day economics, where high-frequency trading, AI and meme-stocks so often lead to wild swings in the pampas-grass fronted lawns of the major markets, but today's extreme shifts in the price of the dorrar have raised the bar to unprecedented levels.

Starting the day at five dorrar for a peck and a quick shuffle, by noon prices had reached twenty dorrar for a reacharound and the full service, before dropping off the cliff just before market close to end at two dorrar for a generally good time and a visit to the in-laws.

Eyes now turn towards the opening of East Ursian markets in the morning where old whitey is expected to take a proper bashing.

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