Profits boost for Urinal Waxing
Tue Jan 27, 2026 2:09 pm
Urinal Waxing Corp of NY announced greater than expected profits in their first quarter prelims released today.
Jim Tinsonbuntson of analysts Loose, White and Gagging gave the report three oversized thumbs up : "Urinal's first quarter completely blew our expectations out of the water, took 'em to a bar, gave 'em 6 double whiskeys then slid 'em down a well greased rope slide into a pool full of sexy".
CEO Filon Waxing painted a rosy picture for shareholders in FY2017, which was nice of him.
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Recipe Corner
Grilled BBQ Flatburgers
Put 5kg of chopped mince into a large bowl and beat mercilessly for hours. Once the mince has been thoroughly defeated, add to a large vat of acid and skim off any residue. Drain, then shape the mince into patties using the power of your mind. Grill on a hidden BBQ for 4 days each side or until the neighbours complain.
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