Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

Ballinhole open day 27

ImageMajor shocks arrived at the 145th Ballinhole Open at the Titty Grounds today, delayed by a few hours when his driver developed dysentery and had to be replaced temporarily by the chauffeur of Colonel Surprises.

Military maneuvers and excursions aside, the long running saga of this year's Open appears no closer to conclusion after the governing body's controversial decision to switch the tournament to using balls larger than the holes.

Despite whacking a par 5 eagle on the first hole in record time, ballinhole world champion Fugal Horne remains tied to every other competitor on a firm +0 after 0 holes, with no amount of scissoring likely to allow any to break free.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Image
World > Town dedicates statue to virgin, Mary
Image
Sci & Tech > Probe launch fails
Image
Sport > Latest scores from the Primary League

Latest Imaginary News

Arts & Ent > Review: Kirson's latest mini-series
Sci & Tech > Interstellar Pope crosses stellar boundary
Sport > Pickers pick up Picklington in the draft-excluder
Politics > House Privacy Committee submits final report
Business > Kettle of Fish "not pretty" says Skipper of Boat

Today's Crossword

Twatholes


Get the Imaginary App


Stay up to date with all the latest imaginary news by imagining the INN app, which would have a load of awe-inspiring features to make your life easier, more pleasurable and more complete, all at your fingertips, for every hour of every day for the rest of your goddam life!


INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).