IEye "will change the way we see" says Ivanian visionary
Wed Jul 15, 2026 12:25 pm
After days of speculation, Ivanian visionary Isiah Ayeaye has finally revealed the "must-have" technology that pundits claim will either make or break Ayeaye, Inc.
The IEye, according to Ayeaye, "will change the way we see the world". During a prestigious press conference at Vision House, in Acton's fashionable West End, Ayeaye - sporting his trademark turtleshell trousers - wowed attendees with a presentation that was as breathtaking as it was brief.
In just 20 seconds, we saw a mind-blowing montage of cafe hipsters, zealous developers and robotic assemblers bringing the IEye to life. "From warehouse to wear-house in under 20 seconds", Ayeaye claimed.
We were treated to a ten second on-hands demo with the new device, which has a sensuous feel to the eye and a rubbery feel to the nose. Once installed, it was hardly intrusive - and, while our demo was brief, we can assert that it certainly changed the way we view the world.
Mass production is "commencing", Ayeaye said. We hope to bring you a full review when our NDA expires in 2024.
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Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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