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73% of world prefers "blooming"

ImageAccording to a new survey from global anthroanalysts Boston & Freebaum, 73% of the world's population prefers 'blooming' to most other verbs.

Asked to rank a number of different verbs on a scale of one to ten, a random selection of the world's human population put "fettling" in 10th place. "kettling" in 9th place, "parenting" in 8th, "foisting" somewhere between third and fifth place, and "sandbagging", "filibustering" and "teabagging" between places two and four. "Blooming" was number one on the list.

Given the essential nature of many of these activities, we asked the PM's office to comment.

We have yet to receive any reply.

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Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

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