Just-Ate acquires rival
Fri Jul 10, 2026 12:27 pm
Online restaurant-invitation-denial service Just-Ate has completed the acquisition of rival site I'mFull making it easily the world's largest culinary denial service with a market cap of over 68 billion squillion.
Demand for online restaurant-invitation-denial services has exploded in recent years, leaving traditional 'Bricks and Mortar' businesses floundering and analysts predicting both companies are likely to fold within the year.
Bricks CEO, Hugh Tellmethatagainson, tried to put a positive spin on the story, declaring "We at Bricks, and our colleagues across the road at Mortar, still believe there's a place for traditional high-street restaurant-invitation-denial services, and expect that we'll see a return to growth later in the year when all the money has run out for the internetty upstarts. Please dont phone me again."
The CEO of Mortar is currently on holiday in the Bahoomas and cannot be contacted for legal reasons.
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Poached Herring Balls
Tackle 3 herring from behind and remove the stems. Wash thoroughly in tepid water and marinade for 6 weeks in a dark storeroom. Meanwhile, place the potatoes in a tidy baking dish and cover until risen. (This might take some time so encourage them with supportive comments at least daily). When the potatoes are desicated, add to the herring and bake on the middle shelf of an oven at gas mark 12, until the balls are crispy. Serve with a side salad and a chianti to someone you don't like.
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