Just-Ate acquires rival
Fri Oct 02, 2026 12:27 pm
Online restaurant-invitation-denial service Just-Ate has completed the acquisition of rival site I'mFull making it easily the world's largest culinary denial service with a market cap of over 68 billion squillion.
Demand for online restaurant-invitation-denial services has exploded in recent years, leaving traditional 'Bricks and Mortar' businesses floundering and analysts predicting both companies are likely to fold within the year.
Bricks CEO, Hugh Tellmethatagainson, tried to put a positive spin on the story, declaring "We at Bricks, and our colleagues across the road at Mortar, still believe there's a place for traditional high-street restaurant-invitation-denial services, and expect that we'll see a return to growth later in the year when all the money has run out for the internetty upstarts. Please dont phone me again."
The CEO of Mortar is currently on holiday in the Bahoomas and cannot be contacted for legal reasons.
Share this story: Share this story on X/Twitter
Unrelated stories:
Latest Imaginary News
Sci & Tech > Desk Fan Therapy
Fri Oct 09, 2026 7:39 pm
Sport > 2nd Test - Day 5 report
Fri Oct 09, 2026 3:46 pm
World > Danoosh Kareeem reaches unprecedented levels
Fri Oct 09, 2026 3:23 pm
Arts & Ent > "Worst Sects Scene" award awarded
Fri Oct 09, 2026 1:34 pm
Business > FINEX markets down on quarterly GIMP figures
Thu Oct 08, 2026 6:00 pm
Today's Crossword
Crapsticks
Recipe Corner
Poached Herring Balls
Tackle 3 herring from behind and remove the stems. Wash thoroughly in tepid water and marinade for 6 weeks in a dark storeroom. Meanwhile, place the potatoes in a tidy baking dish and cover until risen. (This might take some time so encourage them with supportive comments at least daily). When the potatoes are desicated, add to the herring and bake on the middle shelf of an oven at gas mark 12, until the balls are crispy. Serve with a side salad and a chianti to someone you don't like.
INN Advertising
We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).