FairAir offers passengers opportunity to stand with their arms outstretched

Sat Nov 14, 2026 2:40 pm

FairAir's CEO has released plans to allow passengers to stand with their arms outstretched on all its short haul long flights starting next month.

The announcement came after much speculation on the next steps the popular airline would take to increase the level of unpleasantness for passengers. "It came after much blue sky thinking" said the CEO Patrick Padderson. "We were worried that it wouldn't fly well with Health and Safety lawyers, but after inquiries and investigations, it looks like the idea is air tight." he said. "If passengers can stand standing with their arms outstretched, the reduction in cost should sit well with them." he added.

We asked a regular customer what they thought about the announcement. "I don't mind standing with my arms outstretched, but I'm worried about the landing.", said Arabella Fonty. "What if it's rough? Will there be hand-rails and stuff? Maybe the floor and walls could be padded." she added, "Or maybe we could have seats, so we don't fall over."

We asked Mr. Padderson to comment, but he had gone to get a sandwich.

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