Breaking News: PM resigns
Tue Jul 14, 2026 4:39 pm
At a press conference held this morning in the government's best office, the Imaginary Prime Minister has shocked the world by announcing his immediate resignation.
The surprise announcement comes in the wake of repeated accusations of early 90's 'little bootie wearing', and the recent release of a CCTV video that appeared to show the Prime Minister 'wearing little booties' in a Shoho nightclub.
A government spokesperson said that the standard processes for transition of power will now come into force and they are not expecting any hiccups. Speaking to our reporter off the record, the ruling Concatanive party chairman, Sir Withersby Bolton-Limeson, admitted that the move "came as a bit of a shock to the old boy, but he took it gracefully enough. I think he's happy just to get some time off to go to the Test, and no doubt will be banging about doing dodgy stuff with ladies in Jillhadi by the morning".
A meeting of the government's 1812 back-bench committee will take place later in the week, and it is expected a new prime minister will be in place by the end of the month.
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Today's Crossword
Bollocks
Recipe Corner
Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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