Dividends down in Duvet Down downscaling
Mon Jan 26, 2026 7:32 am
Dividends in the Duvet Down company have dropped after the company announced plans to reduce its workforce by a third.
The firm's three employees exchanged looks of serious concern, before the Buggson twins settling their gaze intently on co-worker, Brian Sackableoffence. At a meeting with investors Duvet Down's CEO, Timmy Chao, read out a prepared statement : "Unfortunately due to an ongoing shortfall in deliveries from our down and stitching supplier, Duck and Weave - shortfalls which are completely out of our hands - we are unable to maintain the workforce at it's present level. We will be reducing output over the coming months, while dividend and profit levels will be below expectations for the current financial year".
Press representatives for suppliers Duck and Weave were available for comment but we were unable to pin them down.
Share this story: Share this story on X/Twitter
Unrelated stories:
Latest Imaginary News
Sport > 2nd Test - Day 3 report
Wed Jan 28, 2026 4:27 pm
World > It's International Kiwi Floating Day
Wed Jan 28, 2026 3:49 pm
Sci & Tech > IEye "will change the way we see" says Ivanian visionary
Wed Jan 28, 2026 12:25 pm
Arts & Ent > Opening: Fetish gallery contrail nudes
Wed Jan 28, 2026 4:26 am
Politics > Breaking News: PM resigns
Tue Jan 27, 2026 4:39 pm
Today's Crossword

Shitbags
Get the Imaginary App

Stay up to date with all the latest imaginary news by imagining the INN app, which would have a load of awe-inspiring features to make your life easier, more pleasurable and more complete, all at your fingertips, for every hour of every day for the rest of your goddam life!
INN Advertising
We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).


