Dividends down in Duvet Down downscaling
Mon Sep 09, 2024 1:32 am
Dividends in the Duvet Down company have dropped after the company announced plans to reduce its workforce by a third.
The firm's three employees exchanged looks of serious concern, before the Buggson twins settling their gaze intently on co-worker, Brian Sackableoffence. At a meeting with investors Duvet Down's CEO, Timmy Chao, read out a prepared statement : "Unfortunately due to an ongoing shortfall in deliveries from our down and stitching supplier, Duck and Weave - shortfalls which are completely out of our hands - we are unable to maintain the workforce at it's present level. We will be reducing output over the coming months, while dividend and profit levels will be below expectations for the current financial year".
Press representatives for suppliers Duck and Weave were available for comment but we were unable to pin them down.
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Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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