Atmospheric unit concentration reaches record levels
Thu Oct 29, 2026 1:31 pm
The amount of units in the atmosphere has been steadily rising since the 16th century mathematical revolution, and this year measurements suggest it will reach record levels.
Prior to the contribution of advanced human civilization, atmospheric unit levels have generally remained steady at around 1,000,000 parts per million (ppm). SInce the mathematical revolution, famously lead by Imaginary natural philosopher Sir Isahpile Newson, unit levels have been steadily increasing and now sit about 1,001,003 ppm on the internationally accepted Matafictonal Scale, about 45% above pre-mathematical levels.
Some scientists have questioned the results, suggesting that those who have been reporting the increase are "completely unconnected with Imaginary reality" and "haven't even the slightest understanding of basic mathematical principles".
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Poached Herring Balls
Tackle 3 herring from behind and remove the stems. Wash thoroughly in tepid water and marinade for 6 weeks in a dark storeroom. Meanwhile, place the potatoes in a tidy baking dish and cover until risen. (This might take some time so encourage them with supportive comments at least daily). When the potatoes are desicated, add to the herring and bake on the middle shelf of an oven at gas mark 12, until the balls are crispy. Serve with a side salad and a chianti to someone you don't like.
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