Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

So-called 'Super' Man defeated by obvious flaw in plan

ImageA so-called 'Super' man, who claimed to be able to travel faster than a speeding bullet, tonight shot himself in the face.

In the incident, which police and observers have described as "Very Stupid", an erotically charged and peculiarly clad young gentleman of the Super persuasion was observed mixing metaphors at a speed exceeding that of cheetahs, high-speed trains, sound and bullets (although not light).

Speaking after the event bystander Johnny Bystanderson pondered ".. how come I'm always seeing these kind of things happen but, as much as I try, I never seem to be directly involved". Our reporter was rapidly on the scene, taking account of all the goings on, before heading off to the pub.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Image
Arts & Ent > TV Highlights : Broken Armchair
Image
Business > Just-Ate acquires rival
Image
Arts & Ent > Dead 80's rocker planning a comeback

Latest Imaginary News

Business > Chopajonian cuisine outpaces rivals, says Survey
World > Refuse Collection blocked by syntactic error
Arts & Ent > Floral response presentation
Sci & Tech > New DNA evidence reveals early human behaviour
Sport > Bouncing tournament suspended

Today's Crossword

Fucksticks


Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).