So-called 'Super' Man defeated by obvious flaw in plan
Fri Jun 05, 2026 12:23 pm
A so-called 'Super' man, who claimed to be able to travel faster than a speeding bullet, tonight shot himself in the face.
In the incident, which police and observers have described as "Very Stupid", an erotically charged and peculiarly clad young gentleman of the Super persuasion was observed mixing metaphors at a speed exceeding that of cheetahs, high-speed trains, sound and bullets (although not light).
Speaking after the event bystander Johnny Bystanderson pondered ".. how come I'm always seeing these kind of things happen but, as much as I try, I never seem to be directly involved". Our reporter was rapidly on the scene, taking account of all the goings on, before heading off to the pub.
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Recipe Corner
Grilled BBQ Flatburgers
Put 5kg of chopped mince into a large bowl and beat mercilessly for hours. Once the mince has been thoroughly defeated, add to a large vat of acid and skim off any residue. Drain, then shape the mince into patties using the power of your mind. Grill on a hidden BBQ for 4 days each side or until the neighbours complain.
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