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3rd test, Day 9

ImageDay 9 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 35 all in the hole.
Imaginary (1st Innings): 83 all in the hole.
Umbria (2nd Innings): 974, declared legit.
Imaginary (2nd Innings): 183, 3 down, 2 in the hole.

As most pundits predicted, Umbrian captain, Majahid Ranmanakoolaban, declared overnight with a lead of 926 already on the board. He declared again before play this morning after realising everybody had been asleep during the first attempt.

And so, out strode Imaginary openers Ian Bullson and Jimmy Chives facing the daunting task of saving the series by battering out 6 sessions and 22 drinks breaks on a wearing pitch, the test equivalent of climbing a mountain in skates dressed in a one-piece banana costume.

It started well enough, with both players looking reasonably steady, but just before the first drinks break a tiddler from fast-slow swing chucker Sharia Boomtacki got through Bullson's inner gap and sent him trudging back down the hole with no tea. When Chives followed not long after, tickling at a chin ball from Boson, it began to look like the writing was on the wall for the Imaginary team.

Cookson and Captain Greggson steadied the ship throughout the afternoon, sticking with light ales and scoring steadily for most of the session up until tea, but with the rate slowing and the heat of a long, humid day draining their energy, a slip from Cookson to slip off a slipper from Ravishastri Poontang, Umbria's left arm stroker, sealed a strong day for Umbria.

The Imaginary team still have a chance to clinch a draw on the final day's play tomorrow, but with the pitch turning and Mandarath looking increasingly deadly, it will be a huge task to bat out the day.

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Today's Crossword

Bollocks


Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

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