Scientists discover new method for arranging matter of fact
Wed May 27, 2026 1:38 pm
Scientists at Canterbridge University have discovered a new method for arranging matter of facts using atomic manipulation techniques.
Using electron microscopiscy and harnessing quantum fluctuations, researchers were able to arrange matter of facts into thin layers of individual fact atoms or 'factoms', as they are known. This breakthrough research is likely to result in large numbers of excited media types going on about 'factoms' for some time in the future, in all likelihood leading to extensive research grants for Canterbridge University.
The bias of funding on unsubstantiated grounds and the complete lack of practical application for 'factoms' will inevitably lead to the shutdown of useful research in other departments at the university, a situation that was summarised by the Head of Factom Research in a little, joyous jig.
Professor Whoreson and his controversial columnist wife Julie Whoreson will be dining out on this coverage for the next few months.
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Recipe Corner
Spinach & Ricotta Pasta Wedges
This dish is all about the preparation, so before you start, travel to Italy and live with a local family for 16 years before preparing the pasta. Once you're ready to start, roll the spinach into thin sheets and hang them over a washing line until dry. Move the ricotta craftily (making sure to use a sharp knife) and then layer all the ingredients in a large pan, slightly too big to fit in the oven. Empty the ingredients from the pan onto a floured surface and curse loudly until they are well mixed. Give up and go to the pub.
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