Grrravity deflection detected by top scienceman

Fri May 29, 2026 2:31 pm

The force of Grrravity, which science claims has been consistently downwards since the formation of the imaginary universe some three hundred and twenty years ago, is showing signs of having moved ever so slightly to the left.

In an exclusive interview with INN, top scienceman Byron Clocks revealed the results of research he claims to have been working on in secret for the past two weeks.

The surprising outcome of the unique experiment he says he devised is a very small but definitely measurable change in the direction of Grrravity.

“The idea came to me after an admittedly quite tiring celebration with friends,” Clocks said. “Using everyday household items to hand at the time – a hammock, some industrial lubricant and a small collection of ping-pong balls – I created a variant of the famous Bongo-Watson proof, but turned upside down.“

“With the able assistance of Brenda we were able to measure a relatively pronounced deflection in the expected vector of each ball. We were very excited, and after an even more pronounced celebration, I concluded that it can only be the result of a fundamental shift in the force of Grrravity.”

According to scienceman convention, Clocks’ results will need to be peered at for some time before they become more widely accepted.

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