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Jackson Jones finds his funk

ImageJackson Jones, legendary blues and jazz r&b drummer-clarinaut and author of No.1 selling album "Where's my funk?", today had his funk located.

It took Jones' wife, Joanna, just 15 seconds to find it despite Jackson having looked for absolutely ages, with the fruitless search even leading to the writing, recording, post-production and release of an album detailing the effort.

Joanna Jones declared her husband to be "Useless" and a divorce settlement is now pending, with Jackson likely to retain custody of his funk despite claming to "not really want it anyway".

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