Giant pig takes over Hamlet
Mon Nov 04, 2024 7:41 am
A giant pig has taken over Hamlet, forcing residents to seek shelter in the nearby village of Gammon.
The pig's motives are unclear, but speculation is rife.
With just two permanent residents Hamlet is the third smallest city in the country.
"It's ironic really," said Kevin Baconson, a pig refugee. "It's terrible here, and I've wanted to leave for ages, but I didn't read the lease properly and legally I had to stay until something like this happened."
He added, "my neighbour called to say he wanted to leave too, but his door was blocked by a pig's arse. So now it's just him. I love that pig."
Authorities are uncertain how to tackle the problem, and the pig was unable to comment.
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Recipe Corner
Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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