Semi-queen opens annual dogtail event

Fri Jun 19, 2026 1:38 pm

The tradition of the Imaginary Semi-Queen opening the yearly dogtail event stretches back to the early years of the semi-monarchy, and the current Semi-Queen has performed the necessary functions every year without fail since she first attended the ceremony in 1969. (Thats except for the period from 1983 to 1997 when the dogtail event was quarantined on health grounds, and between 2004 and 2012 when the Semi-Queen was quarantined on health grounds).

With the usual pomp, a dollop of ceremony and a poop-bag bursting at the seams, the Semi-Queen cut the ribbon that kept the tails together and once again was nearly swamped by a minor stampede of anesthesiologists looking for an edge and an opening into the second round. Unfortunately - slightly above the tally for last year's event - there were 14 serious injuries and 6 deaths during the opening salvos.

Most of the top 50 dogtail slots have now been decided with the second round commencing on the Parade Ground on Thursday.

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