Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

Women's Penis Championship Enters Final Stages

ImageThis year's Women's Penis Championship heads towards a climax this weekend with all 4 top seeds in with a good chance of a getting a hand on the trophy.

Number 1 seed Natalie Mybackyardson has been on startling form, almost breaking the olympic record in the group stages with her time of 2 minutes 34 seconds and a distance of 2.4m. This remarkable achievement alone would have been enough to make this tournament a memorable one, but when it was followed up by Michelle Bucketson whacking off a double-hander in the quarters, fans worldwide knew this was to be an historic event.

With Mybackyardson and Bucketson going head-to-head on Saturday, and challengers Springlove and Backcheese meeting on Sunday, we're set for a faceful this weekend and the likelihood of a great final come the following Saturday.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Image
Arts & Ent > Rare Margrite goes on display
Image
Arts & Ent > Floral response presentation
Image
Arts & Ent > Tears FM hits the airwaves

Latest Imaginary News

Business > Kettle of Fish "not pretty" says Skipper of Boat
World > South Marmurnian Leaders Conference begins
World > Stupid country invades itself
Sci & Tech > Inverse telescope views own destruction ahead of launch
Arts & Ent > Bruce Monsoon dies aged 96

Today's Crossword

Bollocks


Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).