Snakes trounce Diggers in SuperFinal

Mon Mar 09, 2026 12:56 pm

Given the intense levels of excitement, buildup and hype that precedes it, it is rare the SuperFinal lives up to expectations, and this year's final was no exception, with a one-sided match never threatening to be anything but disappointing.

Although they started well, with the Diggers' Lead Cover Chuck Backswipe taking an introspection break during the Snake's initial drive, the Diggers were unable to convert the turnaround and from then on never looked likely to threaten the turf. Diggers' Quatbacker Delorean Dickchurch looked out of sorts, unable to deliver with the ball and without it, and both Moses and Wedgin went ball-less for the whole first half. When Diggers' star centre Leahawk Sparkbanner broke down with a split fanbelt midway through the 2nd quarter, the writing was on the wall for the Diggers.

At the other end, the Snakes looked like a well-oiled machine, converting from 6, 15 and 34, (the latter being a double-pointer) and Wide Collector Starbait Bruceybonus snatching a treble and 35 points from a domineering forward shuffle. A late consolation fumble on the sidelines by Diggers' backspot Casper Whittlestick (and 3 cheerleaders) did little to change the inevitable outcome, and as the final whistlehorn blew the Snakes sealed the victory 90-3.

Post-match, Snakes' coach Trackle Bellicheck was emotional as he lifted the Braun Lumberston trophy, dedicating the victory to his late mother, who passed away earlier in the season from Syphilis.

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