Inverse telescope views own destruction ahead of launch
Wed Sep 23, 2026 2:42 pm
Three years ago, Imaginary Space Agency scientists began work on a new 'Inverse' telescope designed to peer forward through space and time. Now, 6 months ahead of its launch, the telescope has revealed its own inevitable failure.
Over the past decades the Imaginary Space Agency has launched a number of telescopes that look back to the origins of the universe because of Science. Unlike those that detect primordial light in the deep infra-red zx spectrum, the new 'Jackie Neilson Telescope' uses green light and microwaves and stuff to look The Other Way.
Scans during pre-launch testing confirmed the telescope will be successfully launched into space on board the ISA's massive Boner-IV rocket, but will be placed into an incorrect orbit that will lead to its demise shortly after launch when it inadvertently intercepts the sun.
"Not much we can do about it but carry on regardless." said head of the project, Matt Mattson, rather despondently.
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Recipe Corner
Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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