Budget Day Latest
Sun Jun 14, 2026 1:37 pm
In the big annual economy shakearound, Imaginary Chancellor, Liam Walletson, has been showing everyone his little suitcase full of beans and changing the way all the adding up is done.
The biggest changes that will affect the average citizen, Steve Smithson, include an extra 5p in the quarter on directions (+10% if given from the pavement to someone in a car), an across the board increase in dice, and a 30% jump in the duty on arms.
"I'm pretty distraught about the whole thing.", said Steve, looking particularly distraught, wearing a t-shirt with the caption "Pretty Distraught", a baseball cap emblazoned with "I'm Distraught" and waving a banner above his head with his face on it and the word 'Distraught' above an arrow pointing downwards. "The government have been promising me for months that I'll be better off, I'd really much prefer it if the poor and the rich were both made to pay a lot more so that I can go on long holidays and commit serious crimes without repercussions".
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Today's Crossword
Fuckballs
Recipe Corner
Spicy Chicken Coldpot
Briskly peel 3 raw eggs, whisk then add to your stock along with the live pigeon and the goat's eyes. Simmer gently for 4 minutes then turn the hob on. Once the stock has reached a climax, fellate rapidly and add the raw chicken. Borrow a tenner from an aunt and serve cold on a bed of feathers.
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