Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

3rd test, Day 4

ImageDay 4 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 35 all in the hole.
Imaginary (1st Innings): 59 for all but one, down 5.

A Test Match of record-breaking surprises continued in similar form today as the Umbrian chuckers tore through the Imaginary battersmen like an excited 8 year old drug-addict told his christmas presents were an ounce, a crack pipe and a pound of heroin.

Starting the day on a solid zero, Imaginary openers Ian Bullson and Jimmy Chives ground out a respectable start, scoring slowly but steadily for the first few hours and ticking the scoreboard up to 5 by the time of the mid-morning drinks. But both looked all at sea when Umbria switched approach and bought on right-arm leggy chucker, Barswat Mandarath. Chives was soon back in the rabbit hole after swiping at a wrong 'un, Bullson following not long after when he was trapped on both legs with a full one caught short.

Greggson and Cookerson provided a bit of resistance after lunch (Chicken Makhani, Naan, side of Matar Paneer, with a chianti for the grown-ups and lagers for the young uns), especially after sharing the remains of an 'overnight' bottle of Lagavullin 12 year old, taking the innings score up past 40 and giving the Imaginary team a small lead, but when they were both out ducking at a Mandarath quacker, the collapse that followed was both unexpected and predictable. Keeper-Wilson's massive gloved hands could barely hold the wrong end of the bat, debutant Debutant Dimson was befuddled by a giggly, and the tail was limp through to the final over of play.

Inevitably, with both teams failing to top 100 in their first innings and the worrying proposition of an actual result a genuine possibility, questions will be raised about the quality of the pitch, which has shown signs of deprivation since the first chuck of the match.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Image
Sci & Tech > Odd-bit computers 'more efficient'
Image
Sci & Tech > Waspy microtech tent reveal

Latest Imaginary News

Sport > Shimmy goes right at the Jazzknackles
Business > Not interested rates raised
Arts & Ent > Review: Kirson's latest mini-series
Sci & Tech > Interstellar Pope crosses stellar boundary
Sport > Pickers pick up Picklington in the draft-excluder

Today's Crossword

Wankbasket


Recipe Corner


Grilled BBQ Flatburgers

Put 5kg of chopped mince into a large bowl and beat mercilessly for hours. Once the mince has been thoroughly defeated, add to a large vat of acid and skim off any residue. Drain, then shape the mince into patties using the power of your mind. Grill on a hidden BBQ for 4 days each side or until the neighbours complain.

INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).