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Danoosh Kareeem reaches unprecedented levels

ImageThe Danoosh Kareeem, which strikes South Marmurnia in a regular seven-year cycle, has this year reached levels never previously recorded.

The giant swelling is now 4 times larger than in a non-Kareeem year, and up 15% on the peak at last cycle.

Local resident, Pini Timpanilim, described how it has affected life in their small village in northern South Marmurnia : "Our village life is normally peaceful and quiet, the seasons come and go, we welcome each winter with eyes open, and each summer with our arms outstretched. In Autumn we sit in circles, and in Spring we have each other round for tea. The Danoosh Kareeem changes our lives, this year we have our eyes downcast.".

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