Shimmy goes right at the Jazzknackles
Sun Jul 05, 2026 2:00 pm
Morticians United collapsed to a dominant Shimmy in front of a sell-out crowd at the historic Jazzknackle stadium.
Saturday's ball-fling was always going to be a one-way street, but that didn't stop Shimmy from bobbing and weaving their way to an overwhelming 92-0 victory.
"We drove to the ground and got there on time," said Shimmy Manager, Noah Maginationson. "Then we put on our ball-flinging clothes and went out to the oche. After the umpire waved the starting whistle, we played the game and won it."
Morticians was expected to put up more of a fight under new manager, Miasma Ownson, but a lack of communication in the first rump and an apathetic approach to bowl-keeping made Shimmy the likely favourites from the kick-off.
With Shimmy now fourth in line to the Thrown, the league is set for a tumultuous finale, which traditionally comes at the end of the season.
First Half Shimmy:
Freewingle (40), Despotic (41), Garnackle (failed)
Après:
Jimbo (2), Sadist (62), Bobswell (disqualified)
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