Shimmy goes right at the Jazzknackles

Sun Sep 27, 2026 2:00 pm

Morticians United collapsed to a dominant Shimmy in front of a sell-out crowd at the historic Jazzknackle stadium.

Saturday's ball-fling was always going to be a one-way street, but that didn't stop Shimmy from bobbing and weaving their way to an overwhelming 92-0 victory.

"We drove to the ground and got there on time," said Shimmy Manager, Noah Maginationson. "Then we put on our ball-flinging clothes and went out to the oche. After the umpire waved the starting whistle, we played the game and won it."

Morticians was expected to put up more of a fight under new manager, Miasma Ownson, but a lack of communication in the first rump and an apathetic approach to bowl-keeping made Shimmy the likely favourites from the kick-off.

With Shimmy now fourth in line to the Thrown, the league is set for a tumultuous finale, which traditionally comes at the end of the season.


First Half Shimmy:
Freewingle (40), Despotic (41), Garnackle (failed)

Après:
Jimbo (2), Sadist (62), Bobswell (disqualified)

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