Leadership battle begins
Mon Sep 16, 2024 9:01 am
The two candidates with the chance to become the next prime minister have been selected by the Concatanive party's 1812 back-bench committee.
Reading from a prepared statement, committee member Joseph Polingson said, "A number of candidates have made overtures to the committee, it was a real battle to decide between them. We're expecting a lot of fireworks and sure it will be a great campaign." before leaving the press conference giggling to himself inanely. A friend explained that unfortunately this happens a lot these days.
The two candidates selected are Margaret Commerson, Member for North Bunswold ; a staunch left-of-centre right wing idiocrat - and Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons, Member for Pidlington ; a radical 1890s throwback and registered misogynist. A silent vote will be taken from party members in two weeks time.
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Today's Crossword
Bollocks
Recipe Corner
Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
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