Leadership battle begins
Mon Jul 20, 2026 3:01 pm
The two candidates with the chance to become the next prime minister have been selected by the Concatanive party's 1812 back-bench committee.
Reading from a prepared statement, committee member Joseph Polingson said, "A number of candidates have made overtures to the committee, it was a real battle to decide between them. We're expecting a lot of fireworks and sure it will be a great campaign." before leaving the press conference giggling to himself inanely. A friend explained that unfortunately this happens a lot these days.
The two candidates selected are Margaret Commerson, Member for North Bunswold ; a staunch left-of-centre right wing idiocrat - and Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons, Member for Pidlington ; a radical 1890s throwback and registered misogynist. A silent vote will be taken from party members in two weeks time.
Share this story: Share this story on X/Twitter
Unrelated stories:
Latest Imaginary News
Sport > Clown claims Fives crown in thrilling Smacker final
Tue Aug 04, 2026 11:59 pm
Arts & Ent > Performance artist Michel Pappinion's new show
Tue Aug 04, 2026 1:41 pm
World > Village tree surgery attracts media attention
Tue Aug 04, 2026 1:40 pm
Business > Massive Apple Turnovers turnover boost
Mon Aug 03, 2026 3:19 pm
Sci & Tech > Probe releases rubbish images
Mon Aug 03, 2026 3:18 pm
Today's Crossword
Shitbags
Recipe Corner
Spinach & Ricotta Pasta Wedges
This dish is all about the preparation, so before you start, travel to Italy and live with a local family for 16 years before preparing the pasta. Once you're ready to start, roll the spinach into thin sheets and hang them over a washing line until dry. Move the ricotta craftily (making sure to use a sharp knife) and then layer all the ingredients in a large pan, slightly too big to fit in the oven. Empty the ingredients from the pan onto a floured surface and curse loudly until they are well mixed. Give up and go to the pub.
INN Advertising
We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).