Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

Festival goers shocked by thing

ImageTravellers, youth and all-aged party animals attending this year's 'Festipark', the annual sub-cultural celebration of all things 'off-the-beaten-track', were apparently shocked by the thing that they least expected, unsurprised by the things they were warned about and simultaneously aroused and slightly dismayed by the repeated touching of parts by festival organisers.

Held each year in the North Wood, 'Festipark' attracts all sorts - from daft young hippychicks with no sense of decency, to little old men covered in plaster of paris - and this year's crowd certainly proved to be a few liqourices short of a packet.

Guided into the Wood by grateful volunteers, casually dismissing the threatening heads on stakes that lined the pathway, partygoers soon experienced the unique sensation of being ground in a giant mincing machine and made into burgers.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Latest Imaginary News

Sport > SuperFinal Preview : Budlington Diggers
Politics > Breaking News: PM resigns
Business > Harbinger of Doom releases disappointing profit forecast
Arts & Ent > Book Review: The Turn of the Shoe
Sci & Tech > Scientists discover new method for arranging matter of fact

Today's Crossword

Fucksticks


Get the Imaginary App


Stay up to date with all the latest imaginary news by imagining the INN app, which would have a load of awe-inspiring features to make your life easier, more pleasurable and more complete, all at your fingertips, for every hour of every day for the rest of your goddam life!


INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).