MP jailed "just to be safe"

Wed Feb 25, 2026 1:18 pm

Concatanive MP Jasper Hugenson was found guilty in the High Court today and sentenced to 6 years in jail on preventative grounds.

Judge Hairson, of the Bar, for most of the day unless theres an important meeting to go to, delivered the sentence standing on an old iron washtub using a loudhailer, declaring that Hugenson "was almost certainly up to no good at some point in the future so it was only sensible to prosecute now and save a whole load of bother". "I thank you", he added cheerily, while dismounting.

Although Hairson's views have proven controversial in the past, particularly the life-sentence he gave to a group of 4-year old boys for not pronouncing their 'T-H's' properly, in this circumstance there was a general agreement that justice had been pre-emptively served and there was definitely no potential for abuse in the whole affair, as everyone was over the age limit and fine about it.

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