Imaginary News Network : For when the real news is just too awful to contemplate New Stories Daily

MP jailed "just to be safe"

ImageConcatanive MP Jasper Hugenson was found guilty in the High Court today and sentenced to 6 years in jail on preventative grounds.

Judge Hairson, of the Bar, for most of the day unless theres an important meeting to go to, delivered the sentence standing on an old iron washtub using a loudhailer, declaring that Hugenson "was almost certainly up to no good at some point in the future so it was only sensible to prosecute now and save a whole load of bother". "I thank you", he added cheerily, while dismounting.

Although Hairson's views have proven controversial in the past, particularly the life-sentence he gave to a group of 4-year old boys for not pronouncing their 'T-H's' properly, in this circumstance there was a general agreement that justice had been pre-emptively served and there was definitely no potential for abuse in the whole affair, as everyone was over the age limit and fine about it.

Share this story:

Unrelated stories:

Image
Business > Profits boost for Urinal Waxing
Image
Sci & Tech > Probe launch successful
Image
Arts & Ent > New shows coming to Nooplux

Latest Imaginary News

Arts & Ent > Opening: Fetish gallery contrail nudes
Politics > Breaking News: PM resigns
Sport > 2nd Test - Day 2 report
Business > Profits boost for Urinal Waxing
Arts & Ent > Music: In My Mouth - Overly Winsome

Today's Crossword

Arsebasket


Recipe Corner


Grilled BBQ Flatburgers

Put 5kg of chopped mince into a large bowl and beat mercilessly for hours. Once the mince has been thoroughly defeated, add to a large vat of acid and skim off any residue. Drain, then shape the mince into patties using the power of your mind. Grill on a hidden BBQ for 4 days each side or until the neighbours complain.

INN Advertising

We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).