Novel sex biscuit excites markets
Wed Apr 15, 2026 2:32 pm
The development of a new form of sex biscuit built from widely available raw materials has caused a spike in global market excitement.
Markets first chewed on the biscuit news for a few hours on brisk morning trading, before rising proudly in the afternoon session. By the close markets were at full peak and barely able to sit down unaided.
Sensing an opening in armernican markets has done little to curtail the market's solidity, which most are hoping will wane by the morning when their mother is due to visit.
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